Holding Pattern

Not much has happened, and yet it feels like so much has happened!

In my last post, I shared that we had a few decisions to make.  After much discussion and prayer and going back-and-forth, we decided that the 16-year-old that was presented to us just wasn’t the right match.  It was a difficult decision actually because there wasn’t any one thing that caused big red flags – it just didn’t feel right.  And for a person like me who likes to know the why of things, it felt odd to know it wasn’t right but not be able to explain why.

In regards to the 13-year-old that we were waiting for information on, the wait is on-going.  Most of the extended family members have been consulted, and they are not able to open their homes to him for many different reasons.  His team is waiting to hear from one more extended family member before they feel ready to move forward with an adoption plan.  And some family members whose support is very important to him have expressed their support of an adoption plan.  So we’re still waiting.  One good thing is that we’ll be reasonably sure that no family members will come out of the woodwork at a later date.  That can definitely be challenging – a member of our support group went through that recently!

In the meantime, our social worker is exploring her database to see if other options might pop up.  At this point, we would rather not put all of our hopes on one match that may or may not work out.

I have one disappointment through all of this (all on me – the first time I have “created an expectation”).  I was hoping that the child we are matched with could start school in September instead of the middle of a term or school year – not because we’re anxious for their arrival, but because starting a new school in the middle of a term or school year can be so difficult!  It’s hard enough getting used to a new home, but kids can be so isolating and cruel!  Hopefully that won’t be the experience however.  In sharing that with our social worker yesterday, she explained that the Ministry would never rush a placement because of school – a solid connection with family is more important than school.  And I get that!  I appreciate that the family connection is a priority to the Ministry, it was great to hear!  So this is something I am working on letting go.

So… again I say… maybe more next next week?

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